HR Daddy™ Vault

"I didn't mess up. God just had other plans." Confess your most unholy workplace disasters and receive a divine excuse strong enough to survive a performance review. Deleted the database? Ghosted your boss? Don't repent to your boss— reframe. This isn't failure. It's favor.

Welcome to the Holy Rest Wellness Center, where your burnout gets baptized and your PTO request is divinely sanctioned. This tool helps you document why you're spiritually unavailable for labor — whether God called you to rest or you simply couldn't.

You're not overwhelmed — you're being spiritually ambushed by incompetence in a JIRA disguise. This tracker logs every battle you fight in the name of peace, clarity, and one blessed uninterrupted lunch.

Your holy spreadsheet for putting things off with peace. Whether you're "still waiting for confirmation" or "just not feeling led to open that doc," this is your official excuse generator, delay tracker, and validation portal in one.

Sometimes the deliverable was spiritual. This worksheet lets you reframe every missed deadline, skipped task, and "forgotten" responsibility as a divine assignment elsewhere. Because when God closes a calendar invite, He opens a nap.

How many miracles does it take to survive your job without snapping? Track every deadline you met with divine restraint, every "favor" you granted under duress, every meltdown you postponed in the name of professionalism.

Was it a workplace romance or a codependent project assignment? Doesn't matter — you got too close. This tracker logs every seductive entanglement that blurred the line between "task" and "temptation."

He thought you were focused. But your camera was off, mic muted, and fingers busy with everything but the agenda. Track every under-the-desk distraction — from flirty side chats to secret job apps.

A digital confession booth for the things you can't Slack. Log the betrayals, the fake PTOs, the little crimes you committed just to survive — all encrypted in a judgment-free spreadsheet.

Technically SFW. Emotionally? HR's worst nightmare. This dangerously revealing quiz uncovers what really gets you off at work- like calendar dominance, praise from the wrong manager, or fixing what Todd broke (again).

You said you were logging off. But that spreadsheet? She's got you in a chokehold. This tool tracks every "just five more minutes" you gave her — color-coded by obsession, delusion, and formatting-induced euphoria.

You weren't supposed to know that. But you do. This vault logs every secret, leak, and quiet confession you were accidentally cc'd on. Rank their destruction impact. Archive the dirt.

They said "we're like family" then kept you three hours late. This tracker logs every off-the-clock violation so you can finally invoice the 'loyalty' they milked. Because your time wasn't free — they just acted like it.

Oh, you're the one stealing time? That's adorable. This tracker logs every delay, detour, and ego trip that drained your hours — so when they ask what you even do all day, you'll just slide them Exhibit A… with timestamps.

Go ahead. Beg. Again. This tracker logs every humiliating request you've had to submit to use a printer, take a lunch, or breathe a little too freely at work. Document your corporate degradation, assign blame, and crown your most delusional gatekeeper.

He called it a minor delay. You called it foreplay. Track every time he left you waiting — unread emails, ignored asks, "circling back"s. He thought you'd forget. But you were keeping score.

Track how many people have professionally f*cked you — and not in the fun way. The Workplace Body Count Calculator™ logs every time your name got volunteered, your time got hijacked, or your back got broken for someone else's deadline.

You didn't complain. You handled it. Every "quick favor" that turned into a full-body drain. The Orgasmic Boundary Builder™ logs the moments they swore didn't take much — but took everything.

He got the praise. You made the deck. Again. Use this tracker to log every time your ideas, insights, and actual labor got "accidentally" attributed to someone with louder shoes or whiter teeth.

They swore it was "a group effort"—how adorable. This log lets you track every original thought, edit, fix, and innovation that mysteriously vanished into the team Slack like you weren't the one bleeding brilliance at 2am.

Oh, he "wrote" that? That's cute. Log every deck you built behind his back, every brainstorm he reworded into brilliance. These receipts aren't for nostalgia. They're ammunition.

🏅 Welcome to the Games. Track which coworker withholds feedback like it's insider stock tips, who turns "I'll get that to you" into a three-week cliffhanger. Build your own leaderboard of emotional stinginess.

Apparently, no one remembers you already said that. This tool logs every time you're gaslit into repeating yourself in meetings — while Chad nods like it's his idea. Your personal vault of déjà vu.

They begged for your skills. You stayed faithful—to your actual job. Track every temptation to fix Chad's spreadsheet. This purity ring isn't about sex. It's about boundaries.

You're not crazy. You're just surrounded. Document every "You're overreacting," "We never said that," and "It's always been this way" moment. Track the lies, rate the delusion.

Go ahead. Ask him. Again. This tracker logs every time you needed a signed permission slip for basic survival. Because being trusted with a salary doesn't mean autonomy.

He said "Can you just…" You said "I never said yes." This is your formal log for every ask that wasn't a request. Keep receipts. Build the case.

This tracker is for the dangerously competent whose presence is a privilege—not a public utility. Log every boundary breach, every hovering breath, every "quick favor" that got too familiar.

Some meetings don't deserve you. Log the calendar invites you skipped, the Slack messages you ignored. Was it petty? Maybe. Was it protection? Absolutely. Your no is holy.

You were this close to being promoted—again. This tool tracks every almost-promotion, every "next quarter," every time excellence was edged but never climaxed. Your ambition isn't the issue. Their commitment is.